I has it in bags. And I is keeping dem bags under my eyes!

I am shattered constantly. Think it must be a combination of the stress of house hunting, the stress of being thrown into a managerial position with strings attached, and the somewhat worrying 'medical' problem I seem to be facing. At least I'm falling asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, which is nice!

I did a silly thing yesterday. I went back to view a flat that I had seen on Friday, only to be shown another, larger, nicer and more expensive one in the same building. I finally got to see the one I had intended to see, but then chose the bigger expensive one and put down half my depoist there and then. The flat is lush though, and covers the front quarter of a big old georgian-style house. I've asked for a 6 month contract, just in case I go bankrupt! The boyf and my dad both raised eyebrows over it (well, I spoke to them on the phone, but you know that intake of breath etc that tells you their eyebrows have just shot up). Bugger 'em all.

My parents are also concerned that I'll now be working around 35+ hours a week, and won't have time for my Masters when it starts. I have assured them that I will always put my studies first - after all, the £1800 tuition fee is coming out if my savings.

With regards to the boyf, I think we're splitting up. I know, I know, this relationship is like a soap opera. He had a go yesterday because I'd been miserable with him but then laughing and joking with one of the chefs. I told him that I thought maybe we weren't working out after all and we should cut our losses etc etc. He has texted me since saying that maybe we do need space. And then texted saying it kills him that we've got to this point and he knows we can be good and he wished he knew what he could do to make everything ok again. I know I said last weekend that he was on his final warning, so now I think it may be time to cut loose. We're gonna meet up to have a chat today...
I'm trying to be logical about it but every time I think about us actually splitting up my eyes start to well. I can't think of any more excuses I can make for him or any reasons to stay together, but I know the thought of dumping him makes me upset and cry. Maybe I'm just a big wuss.

Oh well, time will tell. Guess I'd better get cracking on my staff rota....