...but not together! The ex called me yesterday when I was in work to invite me for a few beers in the sun. As I had skipped my lunch (after getting angry during Monday's lunch listening to Radio2) I decided to leg it out of the office a bit earlier, and after picking up some essentials from the shops, we went and found an amazing beer garden in the middle of town that was totally empty, and lapped up a few Corona's in the sun.

We gabbed about the prospect of his new bar that he would be managing, and I gave him some pointers as to the setup and so on and so forth. When we had been together, he had run a hugely successful student-type bar in town, and I like to think that it was our joint efforts and brainstorming that produced such great results. So I got in my views on the new place, advising him about menus, drinks, gimicks and giving him the number of a very good chef who would design his menu for him. After we had exhausted this, we started talking about his 'casual shag' - a girl he used to work worth who he started shagging only when drunk. It took him for ever and a day to admit that they had slept together, even though I sussed it way back when, but he doesn't want a relationship and wants to keep things as friends who have the occasional shag. A bit like our situation, which is 'exes who still love each other but have settled for being friends who have occasional amazing sex'.

Anyway, I digress. So, my curiosity, or indignance, got the best of me when her name came up, as she has been pushing him to make more of their relationship, and he's obviously not interested, and she regularly gets drunk and makes a scene when they're out, and yet he's still holding on to her. Now, the guy I went out with would have binned her ages ago as she is too much of a crank, yet somehow he puts up with it. It seems that even he doesn't know why he's kept her round. Strange. If only he'd been more patient when we'd gone out, we'd probably still be together!

So that topic also exhausted, he asked me how things were with the boyf, and we eventually got on to talking about how much we missed having sex with each other. We agreed that some of the best sex we'd ever had was with each other, and started to get a little turned on reminiscing about particularly memorable experiences. I antagonised the situation further by blutoothing him my work pics portfolio, and his admiration for the pics were soon clearly evident by looking at his crotch! Mmmm - would've loved to drag him off to the loos there and then, but was determined to be a good girl. Luckily, his friend turned up shortly afterwards, and I went to meet some other friends and the boyf at a cocktail bar.

A few cocktails, a posh meal and a bottle of wine later (all of which I paid for as the boyf is skint until payday at the weekend - grrrr) I was feeling more than a little tipsy and textin the ex every time the boyf went to the loo. Managed to make it home without slipping up, at which point I had a go at the boyf for something irrelevant, intentionally headbutted him several times, and apparently passed out on the bed with my mouth open mid-rant. Sexy.

This morning I was extremely apologetic and gutted that I had no msgs waiting for me from the ex, and decided to let the boyf have his wicked way with me, overruling the fact that I had drunkenly told him that I didn't want to shag him at any point in the near future cos its hurts too much and I'd only have to fake it. Nice. However, it didn't hurt but I did have to fake it, and eventually I was getting no joy out of the situation so instigated a bit of anal fun instead. I think I'm a bisexual man trapped in a woman's body. Anyway, needless to say, he lasted about 30seconds after entering the back door, leaving me only just starting to feel horny and obviously unfulfilled. So I rolled over and went back to sleep (see, I told you I was a man!) and was consequently late for work this morning.

At least now I feel a bit more justified craving sex with the ex.