by SecretsAndLies
@ 2008-05-02 - 10:56:34
Dear world and Mother God: I'm having a fat week. Despite efforts to remain slim (dancing my ass off once a week for perverts, eating like a sparrow, walking everywhere) I have somehow managed to pile the weight on, I feel. This, coupled with the fact that I no longer live next door to a sunbed shop and my sudden pregnancy, is not helping my mood.
To make matters worse, I have been harping on to the boyf about how fit I used to be, and found a photo last night to prove it. In it, I am 18, tanned and sculpted, wearing a white fur bikini and white pvc hotpants with fur legwarmers and real feather wings (a sexy halloween costume I think). His natural reaction was "phwoar", which makes me feel even worse cos I don't look like that anymore. The more I think about it, the more unreasonably angry I get. How dare he fancy me in a picture where I look young and gorgeous??! - Ridiculous but true. It must be the pregnancy hormones sending me loopy.
Anyway, I've hit the exercise hard this week, cycling to and from work even though I've nearly expired in the process, and doing workouts at home. I WILL get my bikini bod back, goddammit!
To make matters worse, I have been harping on to the boyf about how fit I used to be, and found a photo last night to prove it. In it, I am 18, tanned and sculpted, wearing a white fur bikini and white pvc hotpants with fur legwarmers and real feather wings (a sexy halloween costume I think). His natural reaction was "phwoar", which makes me feel even worse cos I don't look like that anymore. The more I think about it, the more unreasonably angry I get. How dare he fancy me in a picture where I look young and gorgeous??! - Ridiculous but true. It must be the pregnancy hormones sending me loopy.
Anyway, I've hit the exercise hard this week, cycling to and from work even though I've nearly expired in the process, and doing workouts at home. I WILL get my bikini bod back, goddammit!
It annoys me that I couldn't have sex with
the boyf this morning, cos I was too busy
thinking about my disgusting belly,
and it annoys me even more that he tells me I
look lovely and he fancies the pants off me and
thinks I'm the sexiest thing he's ever seen.
I think he's lying.
To make matters worse, while I'm feeling like this, all I want to do is eat a cream cake. I just feel disgusted and disgusting all over.
But anyway, here's to a good bank holiday weekend!!
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